2fer

A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got
some bad news for you."
"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once."
"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile."

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday
evening with a beautiful young woman at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked
through his stock and brought out a $5,000.00 ring.
The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.' At that
statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another
ring over.
'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000.00' the jeweler said. The young
lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, 'by
check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it
now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick
the ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the older man.
'There's no money in that account.'
'I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about my weekend!'