Army Joke

   A disgruntled soldier was  jaded with the inefficiency of the army. He
transferred to different regiments, only to be faced with constant displays
of ineptitude. As a last resort he tried the paratroopers, where things
looked to be improving. As he soared into the air for the first jump, his
instructor gathered all the trainees together. "There's nothing to this,
men. After you jump, count to ten and pull on your ripcord to open your
parachute. If that fails, you have an auxilliary chute. This is
activated by
second ripcord, which you should pull after counting to five. We will
have a
truck waiting  close to the landing site to take you back to the base."
   When he jumped out and counted to ten, he quickly discovered the rip
cord
flapping freely in his hand.
   When he pulled the second cord, it also detached itself. And as he
rocketed down past his startled comrades, they heard him yelling: "This
@&^%*?# army! They probably don't have a truck down there either!"
   Sadly he never grasped the gravity of his situation.